INFPのいいところを探そう

繊細な生き方は狼に食われる

日本語版→英語版の順です。
For international readers: An English version is available at the end of this post.

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とあるアイドルのオーディション番組を見ていた。

この番組についてはまた別に書くとして、気になった場面がある。

一緒に研修生活を始めるルームメイトに、自己紹介で自分のMBTIを言うシーンだ。

若い子の間ではMBTIがかなり浸透しているとは聞いていたが、自己紹介に自然に入るほどとは思わなかった。

わたしはINFP-Tというタイプだ。

少し検索したところ、日本人に一番多いタイプだという説もあるようだ。

平凡さが嫌で、ついレアな特性に憧れてしまう身からすると、「またマジョリティ側か」と少し落胆した。

だが、そんなことを言っていても仕方がない。今回はINFPの良さを探して、自己肯定感を高める回としたい。前向きにがんばるぞ。

いくつかのサイトを見た限り、だいたいこういう説明だった。

INFPは共感力が高く、繊細で、理想主義的。

完璧主義な傾向もあり、感情の起伏が激しく、ストレスにも弱い。

T型は特にその傾向が強く、自己肯定感が低めで、生きづらさを感じやすい。

その代わり、人の気持ちに寄り添い、誠実に生き、創造性が高く、芸術や文学などの自己表現に向いている。

…………

……え。

なんというか、あまりにも弱者すぎないか。

文明のない自然界なら真っ先に狼に食べられていそうだし、相手を慮るあまり捕食すらためらって、そのまま餓死してしまいそうだ。

人の気持ちに寄り添い誠実に生きる、というのも立派な長所ではある。

だが、それで得をするのは周囲であって、本人は毎回あれこれ考えて疲弊しているだけではないか。

そして、自己表現に向いていると言われても、それで実際に食べていける人はひと握りだ。

こうして見ると、INFP-Tとは「やさしくて繊細で創造的です。その代わり、生きるのはわりとしんどいです」ということになる。

『鋼の錬金術師』では等価交換の原則がよく出てきていたが、これではまるで釣り合っていない。

七面鳥の丸焼きを差し出して、返ってくるのがチロルチョコくらいの話である。

せめて文明堂のカステラくらいは返ってきてほしい。

でもまあ、たしかに、あまり生きやすい性質ではないのだと思う。もう少し図太く、もう少し鈍感なら、楽なことも多かったはずだ。

そのかわりに見えなかったものも、きっと多いはずだ。

人の気持ちを考えすぎたり、どうでもいいことに引っかかったり、ひとつの出来事をいつまでも反芻したり。

そういう面倒くさい性質が、わたしの場合はたぶん文章を書く元にもなっている。

そう思うと、INFP-Tも悪くない。

少なくとも、狼に食われる前に日記は一本書けそうである。

と、INFP-Tの仲間たちは無理やり強がってみるのはどうだろうか。

また「本当にそうだろうか……そもそも生きやすさとはなんだろう……」と思索の海に溺れているのではないですか。そういうところですよ。

シンプルに生きていきましょう。

いや、でもシンプルってなんだろう。

余計なことを考えないことだろうか。
では、余計なこととは誰が決めるのだろう。
わたしにとって余計ではないものを、他人が余計だと言ったとき、それはどちらの余計なのだろう。

…………

狼の足音が聞こえる。

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For those who made it this far, here is the English version.

Let’s look for the good sides of being an INFP.

I was watching an audition show for a certain idol group.

I’ll write about the show itself another time, but one scene stuck with me.

The trainees had just started living together, and when they introduced themselves to their new roommates, they casually included their MBTI types.

I had heard that MBTI had become fairly common among younger people, but I did not realize it had reached the point where it could slip naturally into a self-introduction.

I am an INFP-T.

After a bit of searching, I found several claims that INFP may be one of the most common types in Japan.

As someone who, despite myself, tends to long for rare and special traits because being ordinary feels vaguely disappointing, I felt a small pang of defeat.

So I’m on the majority side again.

Still, there is no use sulking about it. Today, I would like to look for the good points of being an INFP and raise my self-esteem. Let us proceed in a positive direction. Bravely, even.

From the sites I looked at, the descriptions were more or less like this.

INFPs are empathetic, sensitive, and idealistic.

They also tend toward perfectionism, emotional ups and downs, and being easily stressed.

The T type apparently feels this even more strongly, with lower self-esteem and a greater tendency to find life difficult.

On the other hand, they are good at understanding other people’s feelings, they live sincerely, they are highly creative, and they are suited to forms of self-expression such as art and literature.

…………

……Sorry, what.

I do not know how else to put this, but isn’t that a little too vulnerable?

In a world without civilization, I feel like we would be the first ones eaten by wolves. And then, out of excessive consideration for the wolf’s emotional state, we might hesitate even to hunt anything ourselves and simply starve to death.

Being able to understand other people’s feelings and live sincerely is, of course, a fine quality.

But isn’t everyone around you the one who benefits from that?

Meanwhile, the person themselves is just sitting there, thinking about every possible angle until they are completely worn out.

And even if someone tells me I am suited to self-expression, only a small handful of people can actually make a living from it.

Looked at this way, INFP-T basically means:

“You are kind, sensitive, and creative. In exchange, being alive will be fairly exhausting.”

In Fullmetal Alchemist, they often talk about the principle of equivalent exchange, but this does not feel equivalent at all.

It is like handing over an entire roast turkey and receiving, in return, one tiny piece of chocolate.

At least give me a decent sponge cake from Bunmeido.

Still, I suppose it is true that this is not the easiest temperament to live with. If I were a little more thick-skinned, a little more oblivious, many things would probably be easier.

But there must also be many things I would have missed.

Thinking too much about other people’s feelings, getting caught on things that do not matter, turning one small event over in my head again and again.

In my case, that troublesome nature is probably also the source of my writing.

When I think of it that way, being an INFP-T is not so bad.

At the very least, I could probably write one diary entry before being eaten by wolves.

Perhaps my fellow INFP-T people could try forcing ourselves to take comfort in that.

And yet I can already hear us saying, “But is that really true…? What does it even mean for life to be easy…?” and sinking, once again, into the ocean of thought.

This is exactly the problem.

Let us live simply.

No, wait.

What does “simply” even mean?

Does it mean not thinking about unnecessary things?

Then who gets to decide what is unnecessary?

If something is not unnecessary to me, but someone else says it is unnecessary, whose unnecessary is it?

…………

I can hear the wolves approaching.